Monday, May 27, 2013

Wander & Ponder

Yesterday I escaped my house. I couldn't take it anymore so I had to leave. I was partly escaping my chores and partly just needed a place to think.  Somewhere to just ponder on my life. To be happy for the good in my life & to cry for the bad. It felt good. It felt magic. I went to my secret spot, which I won't reveal because it's secret. However I will tell you it is near my house and I often go there on hard days. I grabbed my skateboard and left with my sketchbook and headphones. I thought about society and all of its troubles and lack of intelligence. I thought of the homeless, abused, depressed and confused. I thought of how badly I want to help them. I thought of myself. My flaws, my strengths. And as dumb as it sounds I wished I had someone to listen to me. To understand the thoughts of a concerned teenager. Because as teenagers, we are all a little concerned and disillusioned. But its how we deal with that disillusionment that makes us strong or weak. I'm glad I have been raised in a strong home with loving parents but guess what. I still cry in my secret spot sometimes for all the pains of this world.

Monday, May 20, 2013

M E A N

Today was hard. It started off super well. I had late start which gave me time to get ready and dress to the nines. I got all excited as I applied my favorite purple lipstick. It was a great feeling as I strolled onto the school campus. Then I started seeing weird looks and people looking. I thought whatever. No one can stop me from wearing my favorite lipstick. So I kept going. I went to ceramics and picked up two pieces which turned out great! I totally love them. Then I heard. I heard someone didn't like my whole look. They whispered to my best friend "hey is that jenny's prostitution makeup?" And that hurt. So bad. Worse than I thought it would. And I cried. I cried hard. And infact, I'm crying right now. People are mean. Listen to yourself before you speak because sometimes it can cut people inside and harden their hearts toward the compassion of humanity. So be a good person.

This is one of my favorite songs that fits so perfectly.

"So what made you think you could take a life 
And just push it push it around 
I guess to build yourself up so high
You had to take her and break her down"

▼ jennifer ▲