Pondering.

I had an claustrophobic / headache prob today at church so now I am sitting in the car trying to get a grip on myself. They used expo marker in the young womens room and that just set me off...I feel sick like crazy. So anyways, I need to reflect on my life. Its just one of those moments. Yesterday when I was talking to my mom I almost started crying because I was so distraught over what to do. I dont know what school I want to attend or what track team to be a part of and I feel so lost. Just when I think about what to do and I get an idea of what I want it seems to suddenly change. For example, my WHOLE life I wanted to go to utah for college.  Now all the sudden I dont really. I mean what is that about?! I just dont know. I want to go to byu hawaii but they dont have a track team. Ahhhh. I just need some time to think. But im here to tell all of you that the fact that we can think about it is spectacular. I have a hard time picking which college when some people couldnt even afford any college. I am so blessed so enough pity party time. Be grateful for the freedom and ability to think and choose. Because that is a beautiful thing.