K2

My brain has been going nonstop for what seems like a month now. 

I've had a lot happen. Life starts to go into slow motion when hardships hit and that has been the case with me lately. I've had plenty of time to reflect on my life, my attitude, my aspirations, and most of all, how I am going to handle it all. 

There was a time when everything felt carefree and easy. I was in love. So in love. I really still am. 

Everything felt smooth and natural. It felt like I had found it. Like I had found what I was looking for and what would be something I could count on to trust and expect.

But things changed. That's not how things are right now. They probably will never be that way again, at least how it once was. I hope and pray secretly that they will be. 

But that's not up to me.

but this is what's up to ME

I make the decision on how I live. I make the decision on the joy and excitement I feel for life regardless of what happens to me and regardless of how hurt I feel by others.

Let me visualize what I'm talking about. 

A few days before Thanksgiving in 2015 I went skiing for the first time in a very, very long time. I had never taken my skills beyond the bunny hill so this was a big learning day for me.

I had good teachers and I started to get the hang of things. But really, I just barely had the hang of things.

That day I decided that I LOVED skiing. It was so exhilarating and I so badly wanted to get faster and faster and just shred the mountain listening to good music with no inhibitions. 

So here's what I did. The day after Thanksgiving everyone was gone but I decided that I wanted to waste no time in growing my talent, so I went. I skiied all by myself the day after learning how to ski in the first place. To add to that scenario, I also used my mom's K2 skis from the 80s that were completely rusted over on the edges. I was alone, new to skiing, and using (in all honesty) terrible gear.

But I wanted to freaking ski!!

And isn't that all that matters??!

That's how we should live life. That's how I want to live my life everyday.

Did I fall a ton that day and feel embarrassed that I really didn't know what I was doing??

OF COURSE. 

But I took life head-on and took the opportunity without hesitation.

Lately I have been realizing everyday that I want that courage with me always. I want to have that relentless and undying determination to have the things that are important to me in life.

This summer I am going on a study abroad in Europe and I am looking forward to a lot with my major in Public Health. I am going try my hardest to utilize this newfound grit and bravery in those aspects. 

life is truly what you make it

so let's make it rock??